Christmas felt a little different to me this year. not bad at all; in fact it was wonderful...but different. this year was the first time in 30 years i haven't spent Christmas with my brother. circumstances being what they are, it was for the best...but it was different. regardless of feeling the absence of my brother and his family, there were truly some great moments shared this Christmas.
here are the highlights....
spending time with my MIL
(that's mother-in-law to those who are challenged in texting lingo)
the past two holidays i have had the pleasure of getting to spend some one on one time with my MIL. most of the time when we come into town it's for such a short amount of time, so it is rare we get to spend a lot of time together. however, i really enjoyed the time we got to spend together this Christmas. it was really special to me. most of our time was spent in the kitchen, which was great. i learned a lot. you know someone who had to cook for 4 children...let alone one of those children being shane, the bottomless pit martin, knows a thing or two in the kitchen.
waiting on Santa to come
it has become a tradition for shane and i to head over to the other martin's house and help wait for santa to arrive with gifts for our niece and nephew. usually i'll help my SIL (see previous explanation) prepare brunch for the next day in the kitchen...which most of the time consists of me reading the recipe card to her and opening a bottle of wine, but we'll call that help. while we're doing that, the boys eagerly await for santa's arrival while watching the 24 hours of the movie a Christmas story. because of the adoption, this tradition had a different feel for both shane and i. it gave us something to really look forward to....and also a bit of a reality check. we need to savor being able to go to bed whenever and to wake up whenever. having a child means all of that will change. goodbye peaceful slumber...hello sleep depravity!! truly, it's a small price to pay and it will be a labor of love. i can't wait to be a zombie!!
DG
(i'm full of acronyms today)
DG is what we call shane's dad. unfortunately, we see shane's dad about once a year for a couple of hours. he lives in south florida (bless his poor heart) which makes seeing each other difficult. regardless, DG is always good for a big hearty laugh and a bear hug! he has had some health trouble this year and we are so thankful to God that he has been able to come through. it was great to see him even if it was only for a couple of hours.
the epic journey for rotel tomatoes
you know when you are craving something so bad and it feels like nothing else will satisfy? for me, that was sausage and cream cheese dip. what makes this dip so fabulous? rotel tomatoes. when did i get this brilliant idea? about 6 pm on Christmas night. oh yeah....something will be open. my poor, sweet, loving mother indulged her daughter's desire for cheese dip and thus the quest for rotel tomatoes began. we hit gas station after gas station. we had the door closed on us at walgreens. even wal-mart was closed. alas, it seemed cheese dip was not in the cards for us that night and we went home. while it seemed like a pointless, wild goose chase (which it was actually) i was able to make a great memory with my mother, which to me is priceless. by the way...we went to the grocery store the next day and my craving was satisfied.
a low country boil
on the 26th night we had a low country boil at my parent's house. my dad, who as of late has become a culinary genius (who knew), worked hard to put it all together. we had shrimp, crab, potatoes, corn...it was amazing. unfortunately, it was a little too much on the spicy side for mom, so we'll have to make sure to watch that in the future so she can enjoy too. needless to say, we were up to our elbows in yummy goodness. i had to take shane outside and hose him off. okay so that didn't happen, but only because it was too cold outside. the meal was rounded out by consuming mass quantities of pumpkin pie made by yours truly. it was a great meal and a great memory!
sorry for the length of this post. in fact if you are still reading this i'm very impressed because i'm really not that interesting. big hugs for caring this much about my life!! seriously, there were some great memories i have from this Christmas. i hope you made some wonderful memories with your family as well.
peace, love and Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Biblical Friendships
friendships.
lately i have been terribly burdened by a relationship in my life. for a while i have had someone in my life that i considered a good friend. i valued this person's views on life, and God, and i really enjoyed spending time with this person and learning from them. i truly felt that we had developed a true friendship which is something so rare in this world. in the past few months this person has all but disappeared from my life. attempts at communication and attempts to get together are either not answered or brushed off. i've done some probing to see if there was something i had done to cause offense, but did not receive much of a response. i don't know if it is an out of sight out of mind kind of issue or if maybe, much to my dismay, what i thought was a good solid friendship was not perceived as such by this other party.
since this has occurred i have begun to wonder, as an adult, what is the purpose of our friendships and how far should we go to pursue friendships with those who do not reciprocate. as adults are our relationships with others like that old saying....some people are only in our lives for a certain period of time....or should we be expecting more from our friends and engaging more in our relationships with others? it seems to me, based upon how God made us and how He established the Church that He has the intention for us to be relational beings and to be in pursuit of others. i do have friendships in my life that have, so far, endured, giving evidence to the fact that we are truly made to be relational beings with lasting relationships.
however, at what point do you stop and say...enough. i've tried with this person, and they do not seem to want to share in a friendship with me any longer...for whatever the reason. it seems to me if we have not wronged this person, or at least it does not seem that we have wronged this person, then perhaps there does come a point where you let that person pass from your life and you move on to the next relationship. i think this is difficult for many of us to do, when we care deeply for them, have shared our lives with them, and especially when we are unsure of what caused the friendship to begin to fizzle out. for me, i also question whether it is biblical to simply stop pursuing the relationship. for now, all i know to do is be in prayer for this person and for myself, and to seek God's intentions.
i would love to hear any one's thoughts on this.
peace and love.
lately i have been terribly burdened by a relationship in my life. for a while i have had someone in my life that i considered a good friend. i valued this person's views on life, and God, and i really enjoyed spending time with this person and learning from them. i truly felt that we had developed a true friendship which is something so rare in this world. in the past few months this person has all but disappeared from my life. attempts at communication and attempts to get together are either not answered or brushed off. i've done some probing to see if there was something i had done to cause offense, but did not receive much of a response. i don't know if it is an out of sight out of mind kind of issue or if maybe, much to my dismay, what i thought was a good solid friendship was not perceived as such by this other party.
since this has occurred i have begun to wonder, as an adult, what is the purpose of our friendships and how far should we go to pursue friendships with those who do not reciprocate. as adults are our relationships with others like that old saying....some people are only in our lives for a certain period of time....or should we be expecting more from our friends and engaging more in our relationships with others? it seems to me, based upon how God made us and how He established the Church that He has the intention for us to be relational beings and to be in pursuit of others. i do have friendships in my life that have, so far, endured, giving evidence to the fact that we are truly made to be relational beings with lasting relationships.
however, at what point do you stop and say...enough. i've tried with this person, and they do not seem to want to share in a friendship with me any longer...for whatever the reason. it seems to me if we have not wronged this person, or at least it does not seem that we have wronged this person, then perhaps there does come a point where you let that person pass from your life and you move on to the next relationship. i think this is difficult for many of us to do, when we care deeply for them, have shared our lives with them, and especially when we are unsure of what caused the friendship to begin to fizzle out. for me, i also question whether it is biblical to simply stop pursuing the relationship. for now, all i know to do is be in prayer for this person and for myself, and to seek God's intentions.
i would love to hear any one's thoughts on this.
peace and love.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Bucs Win, Bucs Win, Bucs Win!!!
Friday night the Hoover Bucs won the 2009 6A Football State Championship. Around here in the state of Alabama, this is like winning a national championship. Just like you have major accomplishments/awards in your workplace that carry heavy weight in your corner of the world, this one carries great weight in mine. Having said that, I reflect back on the season as it led up to this weekend. 16 straight Fridays of games and pep rallies and PR appearances etc... A 16 week season is an NFL season, four straight months of pressure and expectations. As I look back on that time, I am leveled by the commitment of my girls and their families to this cause.
I am also reflective on my attitude coming down the stretch. The last 3 weeks were terribly burdensome and I did not handle those weeks well. My frustration boiled over and my guard was constantly up as I had to perpetually defend my actions, some of these actions were controversial, including the dismissal of one of my seniors in the middle of the playoff run. Every Friday we won, brought more attacks on my decisions, as the stakes got higher and another win brought another "chance" for the dismissed cheerleader to cheer again, these fresh attacks renewed every Monday. I don't know how other jobs function in other industries, but in mine, personal attacks on your character, the undermining of your actions, and disrespect are common place from the parents. They feel they have the right to bash your character and get highly agitated if they are not given the forum and time in which to disrespect you. Maybe it is the old "I pay your salary" line that compels them or the simple fact that they can not deal with adversity or conflict, so they regress and the "Jerry Springer" comes out in them, I don't know.
Misguided as they may be, they seem to be fueled by lashing out hurtful statements and character bashing without evidence or logic.
Having said that, I return to the statement that I did not handle the last three weeks well. If I had to do all over again, I would carry out the same punishment the same way a 100 times repeated because what was done was done correctly. It is the aftermath that I could have handled better. The aftermath is where I failed. I allowed the attacks to alter my outlook. I grew frustrated with my cheerleaders, specifically those who need guidance and a loving hand the most.
Because of Christ, I am a better man than that, and in that light, I failed them.
Thankfully, we worship a loving and kind God that forgives and we are capable of change and improvement so I mentally press on looking for lessons learned and new skills taught.
In searching for that insight and explanation, I continue to reflect and this fact continues to surface: I can't explain it, but for whatever reason, I wanted this championship deseperately. Far more than the other 5 I have been a part of here at Hoover. Maybe it is because I grew weary, very weary this season and felt that there "better be a payoff that the end of this", or because the man that led us there, Coach Josh Niblett, is a Godly man of character and fortitude, and I wanted him to succeed on multiple levels. I don't know.
What I do know is the past is for learning, the present is for savoring, and the future is for improving. With God's dear grace, I can do that. Thank you Lord.
As I Remain,
Coach Martin
PS-I was so excited that I forgot to take victory pictures, so what you see are pictures before we started playing.
"Perfect Peace"
Isaiah 26: 3-4 states "you will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal. "
this verse was mentioned in church this morning and it has burdened my heart all day. it seems as though the Lord wanted me to hear this bit of scripture and for it to resonate in my heart and in my mind. now that we are officially waiting for the child the Lord has chosen for us, peace is something i have been longing for. as beautiful as adoption is, there are many things about it that can be cumbersome. mostly it's the longing in my heart for a child that is the most consuming part about this process. but in that longing i must trust in the Lord. my God is a loving God who knows both the desires of my heart and the pain that those desires can bring. this compassionate God promises perfect peace to those who trust in Him and in His plan. that is why this scripture is so meaningful to me right now.
i also have a very dear friend who is sharing in this journey with me. because i have not asked her permission to write about her i won't use her name, but she too is going through the adoption process and it has been so encouraging to have a partner to share this sometimes heavy load with. i mention this because i hope that when she reads this it will be an encouragement to her as well.
along with this scripture, laura story sang the song she wrote called "perfect peace" today and it was as if she saw into my soul and knew those were the words i needed to hear. i'm going to share the lyrics with you below.
to my dear friend who is sharing in this journey with me, i hope that these words will be an encouragement to you as well. thank you for being a thoughtful, loving and christian friend to me. i can only hope i have been as encouraging to you as you have been to me. as we walk through this together, let us remember these words and God's promise.
stay close by my side
keep your eyes on me
though this life is hard
i will give you perfect peace
in this time of trial
pain that no one sees
trust me when i say
that i will give you perfect peace
and you'll never walk alone
and you'll never be in need
though i may not calm the storms around you
you can hide in me
burdens that you bear
offer no relief
let me bear your load
cause i will give you perfect peace
stay close by my side
and you'll never walk alone
keep your eyes on me
and you will never be in need
though this life is hard
know that i will always give you perfect peace
i will give you perfect peace
-laura story
peace and love.
this verse was mentioned in church this morning and it has burdened my heart all day. it seems as though the Lord wanted me to hear this bit of scripture and for it to resonate in my heart and in my mind. now that we are officially waiting for the child the Lord has chosen for us, peace is something i have been longing for. as beautiful as adoption is, there are many things about it that can be cumbersome. mostly it's the longing in my heart for a child that is the most consuming part about this process. but in that longing i must trust in the Lord. my God is a loving God who knows both the desires of my heart and the pain that those desires can bring. this compassionate God promises perfect peace to those who trust in Him and in His plan. that is why this scripture is so meaningful to me right now.
i also have a very dear friend who is sharing in this journey with me. because i have not asked her permission to write about her i won't use her name, but she too is going through the adoption process and it has been so encouraging to have a partner to share this sometimes heavy load with. i mention this because i hope that when she reads this it will be an encouragement to her as well.
along with this scripture, laura story sang the song she wrote called "perfect peace" today and it was as if she saw into my soul and knew those were the words i needed to hear. i'm going to share the lyrics with you below.
to my dear friend who is sharing in this journey with me, i hope that these words will be an encouragement to you as well. thank you for being a thoughtful, loving and christian friend to me. i can only hope i have been as encouraging to you as you have been to me. as we walk through this together, let us remember these words and God's promise.
stay close by my side
keep your eyes on me
though this life is hard
i will give you perfect peace
in this time of trial
pain that no one sees
trust me when i say
that i will give you perfect peace
and you'll never walk alone
and you'll never be in need
though i may not calm the storms around you
you can hide in me
burdens that you bear
offer no relief
let me bear your load
cause i will give you perfect peace
stay close by my side
and you'll never walk alone
keep your eyes on me
and you will never be in need
though this life is hard
know that i will always give you perfect peace
i will give you perfect peace
-laura story
peace and love.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The Christmas Mullet
christmas time has officially descended upon the martin home. the tree is up, stockings have been hung ( and if you notice, my stocking is now a vera bradley stocking. as if that comes as a shock to anyone reading this), and exterior illumination has commenced.
if you know us well at all, you are aware that shane is in charge of putting the christmas lights on the house. every year shane turns our home into what i now affectionately call the christmas mullet. that's right...business in the front...party in the back. after many years of shane's apartment being on "the most tacky christmas displays" list (ok...there's not really a list, but there should be, and believe me his old apartment would have ranked in the top 5 every year) i decided it was in "our" best interest to actually keep in good standing with our neighbors by not being the real life clark w. griswold, christmas vacation, 12,000 twinkle light house despite shane's passionate love for exterior illumination.
as in all things the key to a good marriage is compromise. thus the birth of the christmas mullet. we agreed that shane could decorate the back of the house however he would like, but the front of the house must remain classy. this compromise has worked for many years and seems to bring great joy to us both. although it has not reached its full completion, i encourage you to make the christmas mullet a part of your christmas light tour this year. it's guaranteed to please.
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milly is ready for christmas and
i mean really...thank you vera!!
peace and love to you and yours this season.
if you know us well at all, you are aware that shane is in charge of putting the christmas lights on the house. every year shane turns our home into what i now affectionately call the christmas mullet. that's right...business in the front...party in the back. after many years of shane's apartment being on "the most tacky christmas displays" list (ok...there's not really a list, but there should be, and believe me his old apartment would have ranked in the top 5 every year) i decided it was in "our" best interest to actually keep in good standing with our neighbors by not being the real life clark w. griswold, christmas vacation, 12,000 twinkle light house despite shane's passionate love for exterior illumination.
as in all things the key to a good marriage is compromise. thus the birth of the christmas mullet. we agreed that shane could decorate the back of the house however he would like, but the front of the house must remain classy. this compromise has worked for many years and seems to bring great joy to us both. although it has not reached its full completion, i encourage you to make the christmas mullet a part of your christmas light tour this year. it's guaranteed to please.
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milly is ready for christmas and to see the christmas mullet
i mean really...thank you vera!!
peace and love to you and yours this season.
Gobble Gobble Day
shane and milly after the big meal!!
the food was amazing...as always!
logan carving his first turkey!
what i'm thankful for....
1. God's unending grace.
2. that i found my soul mate.
3. a loving family that is healthy.
4. true friendships that help make me a better person.
5. the calling to adopt and care for one of God's children.
6. for all the students/cheerleaders that have made such a huge impact on my life and have allowed me to be a part of their lives.
7. for this very moment...right here...right now. thank you God!
peace, love and thanks.
Positive Image
recently shane received the positive image award for hoover high school. he was nominated by a dear friend of ours and he was chosen for the award based upon the positive image he portrays in the community. he was honored at the board of education...and on his birthday too! i cannot express how proud i am to be mrs. shane martin. he is such a wonderful and Godly man and i feel so blessed to be his wife. he does so much for others regardless of how difficult it is. in this broken world we all know that often times doing the right thing can cause difficulty and pain in ones life. i am awed by his love and compassion for me and for others and his refusal to compromise his christian principals.
you amaze me my love. i'm so proud of you.
you amaze me my love. i'm so proud of you.
peace and love.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Ready, Ready, Ready...Ready to Run
it has come as a complete shock to me, and to many of you as well, that i am so enjoying this whole running thing i've been doing. in fact, i'm enjoying it so much that i'm actually planning on running another 5K and even thinking about running 2 others after that. no...i haven't lost my mind and no...an alien is not inhabiting my body. i'm truly enjoying the running and i'm enjoying being part of a cause.
my next adventure will be the jingle bell run on december 5th. this run will raise money for the arthritis foundation. this cause is also close to my heart. being an aopii this is our philanthropy, and it is an amazing one at that. i'm really looking forward to contributing to this organization again. speaking of contributing...if you would like to help me raise money, visit my run website and feel free.
you can find me at http://2009JingleBellRunBirmingham.kintera.org/hollymartin0704796
i'll be donning my santa hat, jingle bells and running for a cure. hopefully shane will bring some mistletoe for afterwards!
peace and love.
my next adventure will be the jingle bell run on december 5th. this run will raise money for the arthritis foundation. this cause is also close to my heart. being an aopii this is our philanthropy, and it is an amazing one at that. i'm really looking forward to contributing to this organization again. speaking of contributing...if you would like to help me raise money, visit my run website and feel free.
you can find me at http://2009JingleBellRunBirmingham.kintera.org/hollymartin0704796
i'll be donning my santa hat, jingle bells and running for a cure. hopefully shane will bring some mistletoe for afterwards!
peace and love.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Race for the Cure 2009
after a few months of training....yes....i had to train for a 5K, running in the race for the cure was both humbling and exhuberant. it felt great to set what at the time seemed like a huge goal, not just for myself, but for someone else, and accomplish that goal. having my mother at the race made it all the more meaningful. while there were a lot of smiling faces, there was a great deal of emotion as well. i felt so thankful that my mother is fighting and surviving her battle with breast cancer and yet i was saddened for those who fought the good fight and have lost. while it was a small thing in comparison to those with brillant minds who are working to develop a cure for this disease, running this race felt like i was contributing to something greater than myself. it was a special day.
mom and i after the race
the finish line!!
malerie and i after the race.
mal and i "running to the finish"actually this was taken by her husband kevin
after we had already finished the race. the boys forgot to
take a picture as we crossed the finish line.
the hoover high school cheerleaderscheering the runners on!!
me and my running mate.
great picture of malerie and i as we passed by shane, kevin and the cheerleaders
this should give you an idea about
this should give you an idea abouthow slow i actually run!
at linn park they dye the fountain
at linn park they dye the fountain pink on the day of the race.
for my mother and best friend...
for my mother and best friend..."i have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith"
peace, love and a cure
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Prayer Time
as i'm writing this i'm trying my best not to have an anxious heart...
we have someone who is considering us for the placement of her child. this is absolutely nothing official, but it is a lead. i'm writing this to anyone who is reading to please pray for all of us. pray for this young woman who has a very big decision to make. pray for her heart and that she will look to the Father for guidance. please pray that she will have peace no matter what she decides to do. pray for her health and the health of the child. pray for shane and i...me especially since shane is much more emotionally solid. please pray that i will not be anxious, that i will have a submissive heart towards the Father and His will. please pray that the Father will give me the strength not to just endure the coming weeks, but rejoice in them and in the work that God is doing in all our lives through this experience.
thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and overwhelming support. i am truly blessed to have each of you in my life. i will continue to update you as we continue in the process.
peace and love.
we have someone who is considering us for the placement of her child. this is absolutely nothing official, but it is a lead. i'm writing this to anyone who is reading to please pray for all of us. pray for this young woman who has a very big decision to make. pray for her heart and that she will look to the Father for guidance. please pray that she will have peace no matter what she decides to do. pray for her health and the health of the child. pray for shane and i...me especially since shane is much more emotionally solid. please pray that i will not be anxious, that i will have a submissive heart towards the Father and His will. please pray that the Father will give me the strength not to just endure the coming weeks, but rejoice in them and in the work that God is doing in all our lives through this experience.
thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and overwhelming support. i am truly blessed to have each of you in my life. i will continue to update you as we continue in the process.
peace and love.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Opinion Time
getting my hair did today and need some suggestions...
long and blonde
short and red
long and red
short and blonde
bangs
no bangs
green and spiky (just kidding)
i need some help here.....
peace and love.
long and blonde
short and red
long and red
short and blonde
bangs
no bangs
green and spiky (just kidding)
i need some help here.....
peace and love.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I'm Lovin It
awhile back i wrote a blog about all the things that were annoying me at that time. in my quest to exude love and positive energy, i thought i would blog about the top 10 things i'm loving right now.
and here they are in no particular order.......
10. i'm loving how i have been spending the mornings lately.
shane is getting up earlier this year so we spend the morning getting ready together listening to praise songs via pandora. it's a great way to start the day.
9. i'm loving being a jv cheerleading coach.
i loved my varsity girls, but working with jv is so much more relaxing. i get to do the things i love about cheerleading without all the pressure that goes with running a program.
8. i love that my jv cheerleaders tell me they love me.
enough said on that one.
7. i love being 30.
the 20s were so full of confusion for me. at 30 i know what i want, what i love, whom i love and whom i'm living for, and that is a great feeling.
6. i love that i can now run 3 miles successfully.
to some this may not be a big deal, but if you had told me back in may that running would become a lifestyle for me i would have told you that you're crazy. it feels great to accomplish a goal.
5. i love my pastor and my gospel centered church.
words can not express how eternally grateful i am for bob flayhart and oak mountain presbyterian. because of the word that is being preached and the work being done in and through our church, i have found joy in my christian life again and now have a deeper understanding of the grace of God.
4. i love that the everyday, so called "mundane" is more enjoyable to me than the fantastic.
3. i love spending time with shane dreaming about the child the Lord has picked out for us.
this has become a favorite pastime around the martin house lately.
2. i love being self-aware
as hard as it can be to admit that i'm wrong, i do love the fact that i can step back from a situation and really assess what my motives are and whether my reactions are justified and resemble the actions of the person i say that i am.
1. i love living in the moment.
have you ever had a moment where you let go of everything in the past, forgot about the future and truly reveled in the moment? when i allow myself to do that, those moments come close to perfection, and i love to have the feeling that at that particular moment, there is no place i'd rather be.
those are my top 10 things i'm loving right now....what are yours?
peace and lots of things to love.
and here they are in no particular order.......
10. i'm loving how i have been spending the mornings lately.
shane is getting up earlier this year so we spend the morning getting ready together listening to praise songs via pandora. it's a great way to start the day.
9. i'm loving being a jv cheerleading coach.
i loved my varsity girls, but working with jv is so much more relaxing. i get to do the things i love about cheerleading without all the pressure that goes with running a program.
8. i love that my jv cheerleaders tell me they love me.
enough said on that one.
7. i love being 30.
the 20s were so full of confusion for me. at 30 i know what i want, what i love, whom i love and whom i'm living for, and that is a great feeling.
6. i love that i can now run 3 miles successfully.
to some this may not be a big deal, but if you had told me back in may that running would become a lifestyle for me i would have told you that you're crazy. it feels great to accomplish a goal.
5. i love my pastor and my gospel centered church.
words can not express how eternally grateful i am for bob flayhart and oak mountain presbyterian. because of the word that is being preached and the work being done in and through our church, i have found joy in my christian life again and now have a deeper understanding of the grace of God.
4. i love that the everyday, so called "mundane" is more enjoyable to me than the fantastic.
3. i love spending time with shane dreaming about the child the Lord has picked out for us.
this has become a favorite pastime around the martin house lately.
2. i love being self-aware
as hard as it can be to admit that i'm wrong, i do love the fact that i can step back from a situation and really assess what my motives are and whether my reactions are justified and resemble the actions of the person i say that i am.
1. i love living in the moment.
have you ever had a moment where you let go of everything in the past, forgot about the future and truly reveled in the moment? when i allow myself to do that, those moments come close to perfection, and i love to have the feeling that at that particular moment, there is no place i'd rather be.
those are my top 10 things i'm loving right now....what are yours?
peace and lots of things to love.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Update
it has been one crazy ride the last few weeks, so i apologize once again for neglecting my blog. here's what's new in the martin house of madness....
i've officially been working in my new school for 3 weeks and i couldn't be happier. it's a whole new world. the people i work with are fabulous, i'm treated like a professional, and the kids are phenomenal. you know you've made the right decision when you are supposed to be having a meeting with some of the members of your department on your off period, and they take you to a mexican restaurant for lunch. that's right...i actually got to leave campus for lunch without having to sneak out, sign a sheet saying what time i'm leaving, where i'm going, what time i'll be back or needing an act of congress. it has truly been refreshing and i have once again regained my passion for teaching. granted it's only been a couple of weeks, but i am so thankful to be a part of such a wonderful system.
along those lines...we currently have about 10% of our student body out with the swine flu, and guess what lucky individual fell victim to this lovely illness...yours truly. yes i had the swine flu and while i did not grow a tail or pig ears, it did have me grunting in misery for about 5 days. let me also say that while most people would disagree with me, i think tamiflu is the devil. the side effects i had from this medicine quite possibly rivaled the illness itself. i won't go into the details as i do not want to scare any of you, but let's just say it was bad and i'm happy that whole mess is behind me. i'm hoping as we move into the cooler months that we will see the swine flu disappear.
we are getting to the final stages of the all the paper work we have to do for the adoption process. we received our background checks and, believe it or not, the FBI deemed shane suitable for adoption. guess they didn't find out about all his shenanigans as a frat boy. whew...that was a close one!! just kidding mom! now all we really lack is getting our physicals and health forms done. the unfortunate part about that is apparently the blood work and some of the tests we have to have done are not covered by our insurance and will subsequently cost us around $700. that is unless we can find a doctor willing to sign off for us that we do not have HIV or any random STD. ugh!! i just try to look at it as one more part of the journey.
it seems as though the closer we get to being eligible for adoption the more our desire to be parents is increasing. truly it has begun to consume our thoughts, our conversations and is constantly on our minds and hearts. in fact, we had a baptism a couple of weeks ago at church and i just lost it. right there in the middle of church i began to cry because my longing to be a mother has become painfully overwhelming. there are some issues with this feelings, however. eligibility does not mean we are going to have a child in a few months or even a few years. this process could drag on and on for who knows how long. secondly, and more importantly, why, why can i not seem to simply wait on the Lord when it comes to this situation?
i give waiting on the Lord lip service, i've even written blogs about it, but if i'm honest with myself i have to admit that when it comes to this i'm being extraordinarily impatient. even though i know my feelings are ridiculous and that having things my way will only bring pain and chaos, the desire a woman has to be a mother is a powerful thing. i never understood this power and how it controls the mind, the heart and the soul until now. Lord, i just ask forgiveness and peace for both myself and others that i know are sharing in this struggle with me. strengthen our faith and our resolve. let us count this journey you are taking us on as pure joy. take our desires and focus them on You and Your glory.
well...i believe that is all i have in the way of updates for now. i apologize for the length of the post. i hope some of you actually made it all the way through my ramblings.
peace and love.
i've officially been working in my new school for 3 weeks and i couldn't be happier. it's a whole new world. the people i work with are fabulous, i'm treated like a professional, and the kids are phenomenal. you know you've made the right decision when you are supposed to be having a meeting with some of the members of your department on your off period, and they take you to a mexican restaurant for lunch. that's right...i actually got to leave campus for lunch without having to sneak out, sign a sheet saying what time i'm leaving, where i'm going, what time i'll be back or needing an act of congress. it has truly been refreshing and i have once again regained my passion for teaching. granted it's only been a couple of weeks, but i am so thankful to be a part of such a wonderful system.
along those lines...we currently have about 10% of our student body out with the swine flu, and guess what lucky individual fell victim to this lovely illness...yours truly. yes i had the swine flu and while i did not grow a tail or pig ears, it did have me grunting in misery for about 5 days. let me also say that while most people would disagree with me, i think tamiflu is the devil. the side effects i had from this medicine quite possibly rivaled the illness itself. i won't go into the details as i do not want to scare any of you, but let's just say it was bad and i'm happy that whole mess is behind me. i'm hoping as we move into the cooler months that we will see the swine flu disappear.
we are getting to the final stages of the all the paper work we have to do for the adoption process. we received our background checks and, believe it or not, the FBI deemed shane suitable for adoption. guess they didn't find out about all his shenanigans as a frat boy. whew...that was a close one!! just kidding mom! now all we really lack is getting our physicals and health forms done. the unfortunate part about that is apparently the blood work and some of the tests we have to have done are not covered by our insurance and will subsequently cost us around $700. that is unless we can find a doctor willing to sign off for us that we do not have HIV or any random STD. ugh!! i just try to look at it as one more part of the journey.
it seems as though the closer we get to being eligible for adoption the more our desire to be parents is increasing. truly it has begun to consume our thoughts, our conversations and is constantly on our minds and hearts. in fact, we had a baptism a couple of weeks ago at church and i just lost it. right there in the middle of church i began to cry because my longing to be a mother has become painfully overwhelming. there are some issues with this feelings, however. eligibility does not mean we are going to have a child in a few months or even a few years. this process could drag on and on for who knows how long. secondly, and more importantly, why, why can i not seem to simply wait on the Lord when it comes to this situation?
i give waiting on the Lord lip service, i've even written blogs about it, but if i'm honest with myself i have to admit that when it comes to this i'm being extraordinarily impatient. even though i know my feelings are ridiculous and that having things my way will only bring pain and chaos, the desire a woman has to be a mother is a powerful thing. i never understood this power and how it controls the mind, the heart and the soul until now. Lord, i just ask forgiveness and peace for both myself and others that i know are sharing in this struggle with me. strengthen our faith and our resolve. let us count this journey you are taking us on as pure joy. take our desires and focus them on You and Your glory.
well...i believe that is all i have in the way of updates for now. i apologize for the length of the post. i hope some of you actually made it all the way through my ramblings.
peace and love.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Fear
fear is an emotion that seems to be more and more prevalent in our society. to take it a step further, not only is this a feeling that is occurring naturally, it's being promoted by magazines, newspapers, politicians, radio personalities, television shows...you name it.
fear the economy! fear health care reform! fear terrorism! fear the swine flu! fear the government! fear those that protest the government! fear the end of the world! fear changes in the environment! fear getting older! fear gaining weight! fear is being promoted all around us.
as i found myself being sucked into all the fear mongering going on around me, i had a great conversation with shane and it finally dawned on me that i did not truly believe God is in control of the universe. yep...i'm that bad. the very fact that i had so much fear in my heart about a plethora of these issues was a big, bright flashing light showing my lack of faith. if i truly believed, as i have said i do, that God is in control, there would be no fear of the things of this world.
in romans 8:31 it says, very clearly that "if God is for us, who can be against us?" if as a christian i believe this to be true, then i should not be concerned about what is coming. i should not buy into the fear that this world is trying to instill in our society. swine flu or not...God is with us. terrorism or not...God is with us. poor economy or not...God is with us. we must start living as a people of faith, not as a people in fear. i am in need of repentance for my lack of faith and trust in a God who loves me.
understanding this has changed my thinking significantly. however, there are things that i still fear, but they are more from a spiritual nature. i fear for the many dear friends i have that still have not come to know Christ. i fear that somehow i have not done the work that i need to do to help them. now that is a scary thought, and as Christians...in my opinion, those are the things we should fear. loved ones not receiving salvation. that is something worth fearing. at the same time, i still have to believe in the power of the transforming grace of Christ and that He is still very much in control of any and all situations.
let us keep in mind that God loves His people. He hears us when we cry out to Him, and He has made us a promise that should wipe away any fear on this earth that threatens us. thank you Lord!
"be still and know that I am God." psalm 46:10
peace and love
fear the economy! fear health care reform! fear terrorism! fear the swine flu! fear the government! fear those that protest the government! fear the end of the world! fear changes in the environment! fear getting older! fear gaining weight! fear is being promoted all around us.
as i found myself being sucked into all the fear mongering going on around me, i had a great conversation with shane and it finally dawned on me that i did not truly believe God is in control of the universe. yep...i'm that bad. the very fact that i had so much fear in my heart about a plethora of these issues was a big, bright flashing light showing my lack of faith. if i truly believed, as i have said i do, that God is in control, there would be no fear of the things of this world.
in romans 8:31 it says, very clearly that "if God is for us, who can be against us?" if as a christian i believe this to be true, then i should not be concerned about what is coming. i should not buy into the fear that this world is trying to instill in our society. swine flu or not...God is with us. terrorism or not...God is with us. poor economy or not...God is with us. we must start living as a people of faith, not as a people in fear. i am in need of repentance for my lack of faith and trust in a God who loves me.
understanding this has changed my thinking significantly. however, there are things that i still fear, but they are more from a spiritual nature. i fear for the many dear friends i have that still have not come to know Christ. i fear that somehow i have not done the work that i need to do to help them. now that is a scary thought, and as Christians...in my opinion, those are the things we should fear. loved ones not receiving salvation. that is something worth fearing. at the same time, i still have to believe in the power of the transforming grace of Christ and that He is still very much in control of any and all situations.
let us keep in mind that God loves His people. He hears us when we cry out to Him, and He has made us a promise that should wipe away any fear on this earth that threatens us. thank you Lord!
"be still and know that I am God." psalm 46:10
peace and love
Sunday, July 26, 2009
"...Time on My Hands and Hope in My Heart."
with the adoption process progressing at a steady pace towards our approval and the subsequent showing of our profile to birth mothers, i am getting more and more eager to have our child. i'm realizing this is both good and bad. i am so afraid that by wishing the moments away until our child is forever with us that i am going to miss what God is doing in my life during this process. this is truly a spiritual journey. a journey, by definition, is not something that one walks through quickly and reaches the end unchanged. i am convicted that the adoption of this child is not just about the end result of actually having the child in my arms. it's about what God is going to do in my life, in shane's life during the process that is the key to all of this.
He is going to test our faith. He is going to expose our weaknesses and shortcomings both as individuals and in our marriage. He is then going to take our faith and strengthen it because we know He has already chosen a child for us and they are worth waiting for. He will take our weaknesses and shortcomings and heal and transform us with the power of His grace. this process will serve to remind us that the Father is moving in our lives and He is going to do amazing things. i really need to slow down because i certainly don't want to miss watching His hand move in my life daily. that is why the line from the sugarland song, april showers is the title for this post. i have time on my hands and hope in my heart for what the Lord is going to do in my life and the lives of my husband and my child. i'm going to post the lyrics to the rest of the song because it is a good representation of the feelings of my heart for my child and the journey the Lord has in store for the both of us.
He is going to test our faith. He is going to expose our weaknesses and shortcomings both as individuals and in our marriage. He is then going to take our faith and strengthen it because we know He has already chosen a child for us and they are worth waiting for. He will take our weaknesses and shortcomings and heal and transform us with the power of His grace. this process will serve to remind us that the Father is moving in our lives and He is going to do amazing things. i really need to slow down because i certainly don't want to miss watching His hand move in my life daily. that is why the line from the sugarland song, april showers is the title for this post. i have time on my hands and hope in my heart for what the Lord is going to do in my life and the lives of my husband and my child. i'm going to post the lyrics to the rest of the song because it is a good representation of the feelings of my heart for my child and the journey the Lord has in store for the both of us.
Looking for an angel in these hills
Looking for a map to find what we left behind
Knowing that we will
Always end up right where we start
Cause I got time on my hands and hope in my heart
We both understand we weren't meant to be apart
April showers bring May flowers
I have seen rain before
But if Sunday morning lets that sun in
What are we waiting for
Cause love leaves an open door
If I had one wish I'd wish for two
One for me, baby, and one for you
It would find you right where you are
With time on your hands and hope in your heart
We both understand we were written in the stars
April showers bring May flowers
I have seen rain before
But if Sunday morning lets that sun in
What are we waiting for
Cause love leaves an open door
It's worth all the cost
Til I find what I lost in your eyes
And you realize
April showers bring May flowers
We have seen rain before
But if Sunday morning lets that sun in
What are we waiting for
Cause love leaves an open
Wishing and hoping
Love leaves an open door
it is important for me also to realize that it is not just about what the Lord is doing in my life, but also what He is doing in the life of the birth mother that will have to make a decision that is beyond anything my weak mind and heart can comprehend. the faith that she will exhibit both in the Father and in us humbles me and brings me to my knees. the depth and the weight of her journey is far more difficult than mine and she will need to rely heavily on our Father's love and the peace that only He can give. He is working in her life at this very moment. the plan He is creating for all of us, the way He will weave our lives together to create something so meaningful, so beautiful and such the picture of the gospel is almost more than my sinful heart can take. He is so awesome and so gracious and His will for all our lives is so worth waiting for and i know He will use this journey to change each of us forever. i for one will praise His name everyday for it and i know i will be in awe of the beauty He creates in my life, shane's life, the birth mother's life and the child's life each day during this process.
oh thank you holy Father for your graciousness towards us and for convicting me to slow down and watch your mighty hand move in all our lives. it will be worth every minute it takes.
peace and love to the birth mother and our child...wherever you both are.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Intolerance to Tolerance
i was reading a friend's status update on facebook today and was a little concerned and admittedly a little vexed. in short, the status update indicated that he believes, and is proclaiming that all christians and their beliefs are intolerant. first, i thought isn't your intolerance of christian beliefs, in fact intolerant, thereby leaving you guilty of the same sin you accuse us of, but i digress...
what really burdened my heart about that comment, was a question that continued to recur in my head...why should i be tolerant to someone's behavior when it can cause them pain and hardship in life and could potentially separate them from Christ eternally? i'm sorry, but if i truly care about the human soul, then my intolerance towards unbiblical behavior can not be divorced from how i deal with the culture at large. if i am tolerant to those behaviors then i am saying that i don't care about what happens to them in this life and in the next, and that is simply not how i feel.
when i have a child i will not tolerate any dangerous behavior because i LOVE them, not because i HATE them. to me that is really the crux of my issue with this person's comment. he assumes that not tolerating certain lifestyles or behaviors comes from hate and not love, and that is simply not the case with those that are true followers of Christ. those of us who have been saved and are gripped by God's unending and protective grace want to share it with others because we have love in our hearts for others. i think it is also important to mention that i do not have to tolerate someones lifestyle and choices to still love that person. again...love that person regardless of the sin. this is what Christ does for all of us and our hearts are called to similar action.
i have someone in my life that is an alcoholic. i am unashamedly intolerant to this behavior, but i still love this person and pray heavily for them. i am seriously and adamantly intolerant to actions that would end the life of an unborn child, but i still love the person that believed she did not have any other choice. likewise, i am intolerant of someone who would blow up an abortion clinic in the name of religion. it is true that many people have committed some heinous acts in the name of God, but i would assert that Christ and true followers of Him would not condone or tolerate those actions. perhaps it is these actions that have caused many of the lost to believe that our intolerance of certain behaviors comes from hate, and i for one will be praying about that.
because the Father burdens my heart for the human soul i will continue to be openly and boldly intolerant to behaviors that will be detrimental to people in life and more importantly prevent them from eternal salvation. i will express this intolerance in a spirit of my personal love for them and the love the Father has for them. in that spirit you can label me intolerant and i will wear that badge with pride.
peace and love.
what really burdened my heart about that comment, was a question that continued to recur in my head...why should i be tolerant to someone's behavior when it can cause them pain and hardship in life and could potentially separate them from Christ eternally? i'm sorry, but if i truly care about the human soul, then my intolerance towards unbiblical behavior can not be divorced from how i deal with the culture at large. if i am tolerant to those behaviors then i am saying that i don't care about what happens to them in this life and in the next, and that is simply not how i feel.
when i have a child i will not tolerate any dangerous behavior because i LOVE them, not because i HATE them. to me that is really the crux of my issue with this person's comment. he assumes that not tolerating certain lifestyles or behaviors comes from hate and not love, and that is simply not the case with those that are true followers of Christ. those of us who have been saved and are gripped by God's unending and protective grace want to share it with others because we have love in our hearts for others. i think it is also important to mention that i do not have to tolerate someones lifestyle and choices to still love that person. again...love that person regardless of the sin. this is what Christ does for all of us and our hearts are called to similar action.
i have someone in my life that is an alcoholic. i am unashamedly intolerant to this behavior, but i still love this person and pray heavily for them. i am seriously and adamantly intolerant to actions that would end the life of an unborn child, but i still love the person that believed she did not have any other choice. likewise, i am intolerant of someone who would blow up an abortion clinic in the name of religion. it is true that many people have committed some heinous acts in the name of God, but i would assert that Christ and true followers of Him would not condone or tolerate those actions. perhaps it is these actions that have caused many of the lost to believe that our intolerance of certain behaviors comes from hate, and i for one will be praying about that.
because the Father burdens my heart for the human soul i will continue to be openly and boldly intolerant to behaviors that will be detrimental to people in life and more importantly prevent them from eternal salvation. i will express this intolerance in a spirit of my personal love for them and the love the Father has for them. in that spirit you can label me intolerant and i will wear that badge with pride.
peace and love.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Top 10 Things That For Whatever Reason Have Annoyed Me Lately
and they are...
1. mean people.
seriously...where have all the good people gone? it seems like everyone is mean and selfish these days. love is good!!!
2. when you let someone over into your lane and then they don't wave.
wave people...wave. it's called being polite. try it, you'll like it.
3. when someone has lost weight and you ask them..."what have you been doing?" and they reply, "nothing at all. it just began to happen."
yeah, right!
4. people talking over each other.
it's called a conversation. i know, it's an art... but listening to someone else talk can be done.
5. texting while driving.
admittedly i have done this but really y'all, it's a very bad idea.
6. people who say things like "well those of us who actually work for a living..." to teachers.
see previous blog.
7. using the word love for everything.
we need a new word...it has lost it's true sense.
8. political correctness
while i don't believe we should be out there offending people right and left, let's just make sure that we are being equitable in our accusations shall we?
9. men who leave the toilet seat up.
no, this isn't about shane. it is about men leaving the toilet seat up in a teacher bathroom that a majority of women use. i know your mama taught you better than that. again...it's called manners.
10. t.v.
everything on tv resembles a doctor who solves crimes while having multiple partners, and blows up a nitroglycerin plant because aliens with alternative lifestyles are living there and are attempting to eradicate all human life because of over indulged rich kids who are highly involved in a plethora of gratuitous acts, including trapping people in some dark filthy place and wanting to perform some disgusting and scary acts that want to make us all throw up and will guarantee that we won't sleep for weeks. now THAT is entertainment!! seriously, someone pass me some tylenol and a book please!!
don't be afraid to shout out things that are currently annoying you. purging is a good thing.
and don't worry, i'm going to go pray now because i can only imagine the things that i do that annoy others and that are not pleasing to God. needless to say i'm thankful for Jesus!!
peace and love.
1. mean people.
seriously...where have all the good people gone? it seems like everyone is mean and selfish these days. love is good!!!
2. when you let someone over into your lane and then they don't wave.
wave people...wave. it's called being polite. try it, you'll like it.
3. when someone has lost weight and you ask them..."what have you been doing?" and they reply, "nothing at all. it just began to happen."
yeah, right!
4. people talking over each other.
it's called a conversation. i know, it's an art... but listening to someone else talk can be done.
5. texting while driving.
admittedly i have done this but really y'all, it's a very bad idea.
6. people who say things like "well those of us who actually work for a living..." to teachers.
see previous blog.
7. using the word love for everything.
we need a new word...it has lost it's true sense.
8. political correctness
while i don't believe we should be out there offending people right and left, let's just make sure that we are being equitable in our accusations shall we?
9. men who leave the toilet seat up.
no, this isn't about shane. it is about men leaving the toilet seat up in a teacher bathroom that a majority of women use. i know your mama taught you better than that. again...it's called manners.
10. t.v.
everything on tv resembles a doctor who solves crimes while having multiple partners, and blows up a nitroglycerin plant because aliens with alternative lifestyles are living there and are attempting to eradicate all human life because of over indulged rich kids who are highly involved in a plethora of gratuitous acts, including trapping people in some dark filthy place and wanting to perform some disgusting and scary acts that want to make us all throw up and will guarantee that we won't sleep for weeks. now THAT is entertainment!! seriously, someone pass me some tylenol and a book please!!
don't be afraid to shout out things that are currently annoying you. purging is a good thing.
and don't worry, i'm going to go pray now because i can only imagine the things that i do that annoy others and that are not pleasing to God. needless to say i'm thankful for Jesus!!
peace and love.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
"Love Is All You Need"
"all you need is love, love...love is all you need."
shane and i celebrated our 5th anniversary this year. it has been a wonderful 5 years! even during the "rough" patches i am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to marry my soul mate. shane is truly my other half and the Father has blessed our marriage more than i can express in words.
happy anniversary my beloved.
"...i have found the one whom my soul loves." Song of Songs 3:4
peace and true love.
shane and i celebrated our 5th anniversary this year. it has been a wonderful 5 years! even during the "rough" patches i am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to marry my soul mate. shane is truly my other half and the Father has blessed our marriage more than i can express in words.
happy anniversary my beloved.
"...i have found the one whom my soul loves." Song of Songs 3:4
peace and true love.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Neglect
i'm pretty sure that if my blog and i were actually in a relationship it would have broken up with me by now due to neglect. as such, i am exceedingly sorry to said blog and to anyone out there who is actually willing to read the random thoughts and daily adventures of this crazy lady. with that said, i suppose it's time for an update.
the martin house of madness has been trying to take it slow this summer. we both had successful cheerleading camps. i went to mississippi state and shane went to the university of west georgia. once those weeks were over summer began finally. since then we've been working to organize the house which we all know is probably a pointless task because, let's face it, by the time fall gets underway again next year milly will be covered in dust bunnies and i won't be able to walk into a single closet in the house. yeah...we're that bad, but you know what...God loves messy people too. other than that we've been trying to enjoy some much needed leisure time. as you'll see from the pictures we had a great day out on the lake last thursday. while it was a great day it was not so much a good night. even with heavy sunblock on we still obtained sunburns...which are still red by the way. we also had a great visit from brent (shane's brother) and his kid's logan and grayson. the boys played golf and gray and i went to the zoo and had a blast. they were great company!!
what the rest of the summer holds no one here knows. you never know what we'll get into. i just hope we'll have the pictures to prove it!!
hope you're summer is full of rest, love and a little adventure!
peace and love.
clearly pre-sunburn.
fishing buddies
don't be jealous...milly will lick your face off too!
the martin house of madness has been trying to take it slow this summer. we both had successful cheerleading camps. i went to mississippi state and shane went to the university of west georgia. once those weeks were over summer began finally. since then we've been working to organize the house which we all know is probably a pointless task because, let's face it, by the time fall gets underway again next year milly will be covered in dust bunnies and i won't be able to walk into a single closet in the house. yeah...we're that bad, but you know what...God loves messy people too. other than that we've been trying to enjoy some much needed leisure time. as you'll see from the pictures we had a great day out on the lake last thursday. while it was a great day it was not so much a good night. even with heavy sunblock on we still obtained sunburns...which are still red by the way. we also had a great visit from brent (shane's brother) and his kid's logan and grayson. the boys played golf and gray and i went to the zoo and had a blast. they were great company!!
what the rest of the summer holds no one here knows. you never know what we'll get into. i just hope we'll have the pictures to prove it!!
hope you're summer is full of rest, love and a little adventure!
peace and love.
clearly pre-sunburn.
fishing buddies
don't be jealous...milly will lick your face off too!oh and sorry if the sight of my body in a bathing suit offends you...i'm working on it.
my theme for the summer!
milly's favorite spot on the boat.
my theme for the summer!
milly's favorite spot on the boat.My "REAL" Job
since my last blog i've really been trying to downshift into a much slower, much less stressful gear. last year sucked so much of my life force out of me that, while i have more to do this summer than i could possibly manage, i've been trying to really take the off time and soak it up. sure i've gotten plenty of teasing and some snide comments from my buddies in the corporate world about how those who are doing "REAL" jobs actually have to work all year long. now, i could get mad at that but alas, all i do is smile because i know something that they don't know. in their ignorance of what we teachers do they don't realize that my students would absolutely eat them alive! most cubies and corporates couldn't manage a week in my classroom. unlike my misguided and misinformed loves in the "business" world, who comment on jobs they know nothing about, i was actually in the corporate world for 2 very long years prior to changing career paths. in that time here is what i have learned.
you say you wish you had a summer off? so do i! there are only 2 or 3 weeks that i am not doing something school related. that's about the same time i had off when working in the corporate world. you wish you had a summer off? i wish i could take an hour to an hour and a half lunches every day OUTSIDE the building instead of scarfing down a sandwich while talking a student, making copies and checking e-mail all in the 25 minutes i have allotted for lunch. you wish you had the summer off? i wish that the moment i walked in the door at home i didn't immediately have to eat a quick dinner, barely get to spend any time with my husband, grade 80 essays (no exaggeration by the way) and plan for 2 different classes for the next day and put a pep rally together. you say you wish you had the summer off? i wish i didn't have to break up fights in my classroom, teach students that have absolutely no respect for anyone or anything, much less in what i'm trying to teach them, deal with cheerleading parents who want the superintendent to fire me over what kind of ribbon i made them wear in their hair on friday night. speaking of friday nights...where are most of my corporate buddies at 7:00 on a friday night??? that's right....you can say it...at home. where am i...starting my second job as the high school cheerleading coach which will allow me to get home around 11:30 that night.
seriously i could go on for hours but i'm sure if you're actually still reading this you are bored out of your mind by now. i do want to say though by writing this i mean no disrespect to anyone who works in the corporate world. it is an absolute rat race out there and it's so very difficult. everyone's job is difficult. they would call it something else besides work if it wasn't. i'm just simply pointing out that being a teacher is every bit of a "REAL" job as any other. coming from the corporate world myself i can say, without reservation, it is the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, and while it sounded like i was complaining, there is truly nothing else i'd rather do. i get to teach someone the beauty of discovery. i help them achieve things they never thought they could. i help them push past obstacles they never thought they could overcome. i'm a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to laugh with. i actually have those privileges, ones that were never afforded to me in the corporate world and ones that provide more joy and more pain than i could ever have imagined and it is a beautiful thing. it's alchemy and i am thankful. but with all of that comes a mental and emotional drain that only a fellow teacher can understand. without the few weeks we have off, our souls couldn't survive it. at least mine couldn't.
so...my wish would be that we call all be respectful of each other's jobs and never allow assumptions to belittle the truly amazing things we do in our individual workplaces everyday.
oh, and if you can, hug a teacher today!!
peace and love
you say you wish you had a summer off? so do i! there are only 2 or 3 weeks that i am not doing something school related. that's about the same time i had off when working in the corporate world. you wish you had a summer off? i wish i could take an hour to an hour and a half lunches every day OUTSIDE the building instead of scarfing down a sandwich while talking a student, making copies and checking e-mail all in the 25 minutes i have allotted for lunch. you wish you had the summer off? i wish that the moment i walked in the door at home i didn't immediately have to eat a quick dinner, barely get to spend any time with my husband, grade 80 essays (no exaggeration by the way) and plan for 2 different classes for the next day and put a pep rally together. you say you wish you had the summer off? i wish i didn't have to break up fights in my classroom, teach students that have absolutely no respect for anyone or anything, much less in what i'm trying to teach them, deal with cheerleading parents who want the superintendent to fire me over what kind of ribbon i made them wear in their hair on friday night. speaking of friday nights...where are most of my corporate buddies at 7:00 on a friday night??? that's right....you can say it...at home. where am i...starting my second job as the high school cheerleading coach which will allow me to get home around 11:30 that night.
seriously i could go on for hours but i'm sure if you're actually still reading this you are bored out of your mind by now. i do want to say though by writing this i mean no disrespect to anyone who works in the corporate world. it is an absolute rat race out there and it's so very difficult. everyone's job is difficult. they would call it something else besides work if it wasn't. i'm just simply pointing out that being a teacher is every bit of a "REAL" job as any other. coming from the corporate world myself i can say, without reservation, it is the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, and while it sounded like i was complaining, there is truly nothing else i'd rather do. i get to teach someone the beauty of discovery. i help them achieve things they never thought they could. i help them push past obstacles they never thought they could overcome. i'm a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to laugh with. i actually have those privileges, ones that were never afforded to me in the corporate world and ones that provide more joy and more pain than i could ever have imagined and it is a beautiful thing. it's alchemy and i am thankful. but with all of that comes a mental and emotional drain that only a fellow teacher can understand. without the few weeks we have off, our souls couldn't survive it. at least mine couldn't.
so...my wish would be that we call all be respectful of each other's jobs and never allow assumptions to belittle the truly amazing things we do in our individual workplaces everyday.
oh, and if you can, hug a teacher today!!
peace and love
Monday, May 11, 2009
Changes in Latitudes; Changes in Attitudes
the school year is finally coming to an end and i am frantically trying to get 4 years of stuff packed up to move out of my classroom at homewood high school forever. wow. even writing that gave me a little twinge of sadness. i am truly very excited about my new move to mountain brook, but there are so many that i will miss at homewood. regardless it is off to a new chapter in my life i go.
while for some change is something to fear, to avoid. for me i see it as an exciting opportunity to meet new people and experience new things that will hopefully change me forever...in a positive way of course. i hope that i can also do something to make an impact as well. this change in my life will not only provide a change in location, but also provides me with an amazing opportunity to change my attitude as well. this year in particular something shut off inside me and i haven't been the person that i normally am. with God's grace i pray that i can shake off the funk i have been in come out of the ashes changed, and with a better attitude towards life and the purpose that God has for me. i pray that i will give more than i take, that i will love more than i am loved, that i will move more than i am idle and that i show grace more than i am given grace by others.
i am looking forward to the new challenges and experiences that lay before me. thank God for rear view mirrors though. it allows us to remember where we've been and consoles us with the fact that, many times, those objects of our affections are closer than they appear.
peace and love.
while for some change is something to fear, to avoid. for me i see it as an exciting opportunity to meet new people and experience new things that will hopefully change me forever...in a positive way of course. i hope that i can also do something to make an impact as well. this change in my life will not only provide a change in location, but also provides me with an amazing opportunity to change my attitude as well. this year in particular something shut off inside me and i haven't been the person that i normally am. with God's grace i pray that i can shake off the funk i have been in come out of the ashes changed, and with a better attitude towards life and the purpose that God has for me. i pray that i will give more than i take, that i will love more than i am loved, that i will move more than i am idle and that i show grace more than i am given grace by others.
i am looking forward to the new challenges and experiences that lay before me. thank God for rear view mirrors though. it allows us to remember where we've been and consoles us with the fact that, many times, those objects of our affections are closer than they appear.
peace and love.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Bittersweet
in the teaching world it's not often that we get to experience a lot of change unless you go from the classroom to administration. or from the classroom to retirement, but i digress. i recently accepted a new teaching position at mountain brook high school and i am looking forward to the change. while in some ways i do feel like i have received an opportunity to do something different and positive in my field, leaving homewood is very bittersweet.
i feel like i have grown up a lot while at homewood. i have matured in so many ways both professionally and personally. the relationships i have formed there with my colleagues, the students and my cheerleaders mean so much to me and it will cause me some pain to walk away. homewood will always hold a very special place in my heart and i will keep all of those surrounding the school and community in my prayers.
it is with great excitement that i jump headlong into my new career at mountain brook. i look forward to the challenges that will be presented to me and i pray that i will be able to make a difference there. i am very grateful for the opportunity.
so...here's to new beginnings...even bittersweet ones.
peace and love.
i feel like i have grown up a lot while at homewood. i have matured in so many ways both professionally and personally. the relationships i have formed there with my colleagues, the students and my cheerleaders mean so much to me and it will cause me some pain to walk away. homewood will always hold a very special place in my heart and i will keep all of those surrounding the school and community in my prayers.
it is with great excitement that i jump headlong into my new career at mountain brook. i look forward to the challenges that will be presented to me and i pray that i will be able to make a difference there. i am very grateful for the opportunity.
so...here's to new beginnings...even bittersweet ones.
peace and love.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Missing Tristan
today would have been tristan's 11th birthday. i know it's silly but i still miss her terribly. she was such a sweet angel.
here's to my baby girl....happy birthday angel! mommy loves you!
here's to my baby girl....happy birthday angel! mommy loves you!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
We're off to see the Wizard,the wonderful Wizard of Oz
"lions and tigers and bears...and huge taxes...oh my"
with the ever expanding economic crisis i have been reminded of a book i used to read and have taught to my students in the past; the wizard of oz. you all remember the story...dorothy gets taken to the land of oz by a cyclone where she kills a witch, causes another witch to be angry, makes friends with munchkins, obtains some silver shoes (that is if you read the book instead of just watching the movie) and told to follow the yellow brick road to find the wizard who will be able to fix all her problems and send her home.
along the way dorothy makes some new friends. a scarecrow who needs a brain, a tinman who needs a heart and a lion that needs courage. they all band together to go to the bright shining emerald city to find the all powerful wizard who will give them everything they desire. and what is it they discover once they reach the glittery emerald city and find the wizard? they find they have been deceived. they find that this wizard, in fact, had no real power at all. that he was hiding behind a facade of power that did not exist. that he was a fake. that it was not within his power to help any member of the group obtain what they desired most. it was all smoking mirrors.
while many people believe that the wizard of oz was written by baum as a metaphor for the populist movement, i can't help but see parallels between the book and our current crisis. people all over this nation who are suffering for a plethora of reasons are looking to our emerald city, washington d.c. and our wizard, barack obama, to fix all of their problems. for many the glittery promises that extend outward from washington d.c. and the man that presides over it has caused them to place their faith in a place, an institution and a man that truly has very little power to fulfill their basic needs let alone the desires of the heart.
while it seems as though all is lost for dorothy and her friends, as well as many of us, there is a silver lining. in the book it is revealed that dorothy and the others had the power all along. all they had to do was decide what they wanted most and they could make it happen, because the true power came from inside themselves. for us it is the same...with a bit of a twist. we do have the power to help ourselves and we should be working towards bettering ourselves, not waiting for our government to do it for us, however, i still think there is something we are missing that is the key to true happiness and success.
we should not be following the yellow brick road. we should not be seeking emerald city. we should not be seeking the wizard. instead we should be following the narrow road less traveled. we should be seeking heaven. we should be seeking the Father. once we begin to seek the Father and we become heavenly minded, we will indeed find someone who will make our lives complete and not just for now, but for eternity. and while this road may be far more difficult to travel, unlike the wizard, our Father is with us every step of the way, and at the end of that road is a place to which emerald city could not begin to compare. it is a place of peace, beauty and love with a glorious Father who loves us and will make us all whole again.
as we continue in this economic crisis, i pray that we will all remember that the Father never leaves us and never forsakes us. let us be heavenly minded and always praising His name.
peace and love.
with the ever expanding economic crisis i have been reminded of a book i used to read and have taught to my students in the past; the wizard of oz. you all remember the story...dorothy gets taken to the land of oz by a cyclone where she kills a witch, causes another witch to be angry, makes friends with munchkins, obtains some silver shoes (that is if you read the book instead of just watching the movie) and told to follow the yellow brick road to find the wizard who will be able to fix all her problems and send her home.
along the way dorothy makes some new friends. a scarecrow who needs a brain, a tinman who needs a heart and a lion that needs courage. they all band together to go to the bright shining emerald city to find the all powerful wizard who will give them everything they desire. and what is it they discover once they reach the glittery emerald city and find the wizard? they find they have been deceived. they find that this wizard, in fact, had no real power at all. that he was hiding behind a facade of power that did not exist. that he was a fake. that it was not within his power to help any member of the group obtain what they desired most. it was all smoking mirrors.
while many people believe that the wizard of oz was written by baum as a metaphor for the populist movement, i can't help but see parallels between the book and our current crisis. people all over this nation who are suffering for a plethora of reasons are looking to our emerald city, washington d.c. and our wizard, barack obama, to fix all of their problems. for many the glittery promises that extend outward from washington d.c. and the man that presides over it has caused them to place their faith in a place, an institution and a man that truly has very little power to fulfill their basic needs let alone the desires of the heart.
while it seems as though all is lost for dorothy and her friends, as well as many of us, there is a silver lining. in the book it is revealed that dorothy and the others had the power all along. all they had to do was decide what they wanted most and they could make it happen, because the true power came from inside themselves. for us it is the same...with a bit of a twist. we do have the power to help ourselves and we should be working towards bettering ourselves, not waiting for our government to do it for us, however, i still think there is something we are missing that is the key to true happiness and success.
we should not be following the yellow brick road. we should not be seeking emerald city. we should not be seeking the wizard. instead we should be following the narrow road less traveled. we should be seeking heaven. we should be seeking the Father. once we begin to seek the Father and we become heavenly minded, we will indeed find someone who will make our lives complete and not just for now, but for eternity. and while this road may be far more difficult to travel, unlike the wizard, our Father is with us every step of the way, and at the end of that road is a place to which emerald city could not begin to compare. it is a place of peace, beauty and love with a glorious Father who loves us and will make us all whole again.
as we continue in this economic crisis, i pray that we will all remember that the Father never leaves us and never forsakes us. let us be heavenly minded and always praising His name.
peace and love.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Rambling
shane and i finally came back from our vegas vacation late last night. we had an absolute blast. this trip we did vegas a little differently. we stayed at a hilton club resort instead of a casino hotel and it was like an amazing oasis. it was beautiful and quiet and exactly what we needed to recharge. in fact we liked it so much we joined their travel club. we bought a package of points that we can either use at the hilton club in las vegas or we can use them to spend a week at any of the hilton clubs anywhere in the world. also, if for some reason we don't go to a club one year and spend all our points, we can have them transferred to our hilton honors membership at 25 to 1 and they are there for life! this allows us to stay at any hilton hotel in the world! since i am such a travelholic, i am very, very excited about it. did i mention that for signing up that day they gave us a free trip?? we're thinking scotland!
on a different note, today was our first of three home visits with our adoption case worker renee. i have really been impressed by renee. not only is she incredibly helpful and keeps us organized, she is a beautiful combination of honesty and Godly compassion. i am very thankful the Lord has led us to her and that she will be the one aiding us through this journey. we spent about four hours this afternoon talking about our lives, our relationship and our experiences with her. i realize the point was for her to get a better understanding of what we are really about, but in some ways it was really great to get to talk about my life with shane. it was great to tell our love story, including the difficult parts. while i try not to ever take our relationship for granted, today really reaffirmed to me how truly special my marriage is. i am so blessed and i am so grateful to the Father for this relationship.
every time we meet with renee and every time shane and i have a discussion regarding the adoption, i become more and more excited about the child we are going to raise. other than being saved, i can not recall a time in which the Lord has called me to something, but He seems to be calling shane and i to this. i feel it so strongly. shane and i will continue to diligently pray for and about the birth mother, the child, the adoption and our role in all of it and we have faith that the Lord will bring His perfect will to fruition. i will also be praying that our hearts will be open to whatever, whomever and wherever the Lord may lead us.
peace and love.
on a different note, today was our first of three home visits with our adoption case worker renee. i have really been impressed by renee. not only is she incredibly helpful and keeps us organized, she is a beautiful combination of honesty and Godly compassion. i am very thankful the Lord has led us to her and that she will be the one aiding us through this journey. we spent about four hours this afternoon talking about our lives, our relationship and our experiences with her. i realize the point was for her to get a better understanding of what we are really about, but in some ways it was really great to get to talk about my life with shane. it was great to tell our love story, including the difficult parts. while i try not to ever take our relationship for granted, today really reaffirmed to me how truly special my marriage is. i am so blessed and i am so grateful to the Father for this relationship.
every time we meet with renee and every time shane and i have a discussion regarding the adoption, i become more and more excited about the child we are going to raise. other than being saved, i can not recall a time in which the Lord has called me to something, but He seems to be calling shane and i to this. i feel it so strongly. shane and i will continue to diligently pray for and about the birth mother, the child, the adoption and our role in all of it and we have faith that the Lord will bring His perfect will to fruition. i will also be praying that our hearts will be open to whatever, whomever and wherever the Lord may lead us.
peace and love.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I Can Take A Hint
Titus is haunting me. seriously. it seems like that book in the bible has come up in so many conversations, blogs i've read, and videos i've watched lately. in order to avoid a rather large neon sign that reads Titus falling on my car, last night i finally took the hint and sat down to read the scriptures again. for such a short book, Titus really packs a punch and receiving a gut punch i did.
according to Titus teaching sound doctrine is the order of the day, but teaching sound doctrine means that i need to actually live sound doctrine. yeah...about that.. in verses 2: 7-8 paul states, "show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." i cannot even come up with all the ways i have failed at that today, much less this past week or this entire year in fact.
the Lord really exposed a major part of my life that is lacking. although i would consider myself to be a person of integrity who sees the grave importance of maintaining dignity and sound speech, more and more i realize that the "little" compromises i make here and there can begin to unravel my character and are causing me to be sinful and instead i look more like a person of this culture. this is especially damaging because i am a teacher in a public school full of lost students and students who believe they are christians but are misguided due to unbiblical principles and the lies the secular world tries to sell us. living sound doctrine is not only essential for my life, but also the lives of my students, co-workers, friends and family.
a friend of mine was talking about a friend she has who is a non-believer. my friend mentioned that it is scary that the outside world would probably not see much difference between her and this non-believer. we as christians should be living in such a way that others are desperate for what it is that seems to give us so much joy and peace and that allows us to love others in a way nothing else could. this is why understanding and living sound doctrine is so important.
just as i was about to begin to look up how to flog myself i continued to read the verses and was uplifted. "for the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." 2:11-14. that is what is truly beautiful about the bible. first, you find out how truly wretched you are, and then the Lord reminds you how perfect and powerful He is, and that through Him living in sound doctrine is possible but that He still loves us when we fail. that is truly beautiful. i'm glad i took the hint.
here's to waltzing my way to sound doctrine.
peace and love.
according to Titus teaching sound doctrine is the order of the day, but teaching sound doctrine means that i need to actually live sound doctrine. yeah...about that.. in verses 2: 7-8 paul states, "show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." i cannot even come up with all the ways i have failed at that today, much less this past week or this entire year in fact.
the Lord really exposed a major part of my life that is lacking. although i would consider myself to be a person of integrity who sees the grave importance of maintaining dignity and sound speech, more and more i realize that the "little" compromises i make here and there can begin to unravel my character and are causing me to be sinful and instead i look more like a person of this culture. this is especially damaging because i am a teacher in a public school full of lost students and students who believe they are christians but are misguided due to unbiblical principles and the lies the secular world tries to sell us. living sound doctrine is not only essential for my life, but also the lives of my students, co-workers, friends and family.
a friend of mine was talking about a friend she has who is a non-believer. my friend mentioned that it is scary that the outside world would probably not see much difference between her and this non-believer. we as christians should be living in such a way that others are desperate for what it is that seems to give us so much joy and peace and that allows us to love others in a way nothing else could. this is why understanding and living sound doctrine is so important.
just as i was about to begin to look up how to flog myself i continued to read the verses and was uplifted. "for the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." 2:11-14. that is what is truly beautiful about the bible. first, you find out how truly wretched you are, and then the Lord reminds you how perfect and powerful He is, and that through Him living in sound doctrine is possible but that He still loves us when we fail. that is truly beautiful. i'm glad i took the hint.
here's to waltzing my way to sound doctrine.
peace and love.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Day of Days
tomorrow is going to be a tough day all around. courteney is going to have her surgery and i have cheerleading tryouts all on the same day. of course with what courteney is about to face, high school cheerleading seems so incredibly trite and insignificant, but in some ways it has taken on a new meaning to me. i have been given an opportunity by the Father to be a light and a witness to these girls on a daily basis...and on a daily basis i completely blow it. granted there are so many things about life that are so much more important than cheerleading, at the same time, it's really not about the cheerleading, it's about the opportunity to further Christ's kingdom. In James God warns that not many people should enter into the teaching profession, and now i understand why. we are on the front lines everyday and the opportunity we have to present Christ to these kids is amazing. therefore, i am trying to see this tryout time as an opportunity to do the Lord's work. let's hope i can maintain these ideals as i'm sitting in the principal's office on monday!!
on a separate note, please pray for courteney tonight. pray for the wisdom of the doctor's, for a peace to fall over the family and courteney, and that no matter what the Lord's will is, that He will use this situation to His glory. i want to thank you so much for the prayers and the love and support you have already bestowed upon us. shane and i are so blessed with such wonderful family and friends. i love you all!!
peace and love.
on a separate note, please pray for courteney tonight. pray for the wisdom of the doctor's, for a peace to fall over the family and courteney, and that no matter what the Lord's will is, that He will use this situation to His glory. i want to thank you so much for the prayers and the love and support you have already bestowed upon us. shane and i are so blessed with such wonderful family and friends. i love you all!!
peace and love.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Winter Wonderland
as shocking as it is it seems, the weather man finally got one right as we watched snow fall on birmingham this morning. when i woke up around 6:30 this morning, as my "precious" puppy began to lovingly demand to go out, i found that it was heavily snowing. much to shane's shagrin i woke him up so he could enjoy the moment as well. surprisingly it continued to snow until about noon.
we let milly outside to enjoy the snow and she began eating it as if it was the best treat she'd ever had! later we took a family walk around the neighborhood to really take it all in. it was truly a great day and a memory that i'm thankful to have.
i guess we can look forward to more snow like this in about another 9 years! enjoy the pics and the video (possibly...if i can get it to upload).
peace and love.
we let milly outside to enjoy the snow and she began eating it as if it was the best treat she'd ever had! later we took a family walk around the neighborhood to really take it all in. it was truly a great day and a memory that i'm thankful to have.
i guess we can look forward to more snow like this in about another 9 years! enjoy the pics and the video (possibly...if i can get it to upload).
peace and love.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
There is Nothing
"there is no wilderness, no desert place, no sickness. there is no sinking ship, no history, no weakness that you can't save me from."-rush of fools
it is with a heart and soul filled with so many mixed emotions that i write tonight. as many of you have heard already courteney, shane's sister, has a mass in her brain that will have to be removed. to say that this news has brought overwhelming despair upon the family would not explain the extent to which we are all hurting. we are all so precious to one another in this family and while i am so thankful for that, as one can imagine, when one suffers, we all suffer.
despite the pain i personally feel i am trying remain faithful to the Father. God has not gone to sleep, He has not taken a vacation, He has not turned His back on us. He is here, with courteney, with us. over and over in scripture we hear about God healing the sick, performing miracles and yet..."oh ye of little faith." as it says in the words of the song from above, there is nothing that the Lord can't save us from. nothing! not everything but bankruptcy, nothing! not everything but a broken marriage, nothing! not everything but cancer, nothing! nothing! there is nothing He can't save us from! He has overcome the world! His hand is on courteney and His perfect will is working in our lives.
so while i ache so deeply for courteney i will lift my eyes to our maker, to our healer who already knows what the prayers of my heart are. He already knows that how much i love her, how much we all love her, but the beautiful thing about Christ is that He loves her more than any of us ever could with a love that is unfathomable to sinful humans. courteney has so much strength, such a love for life, and a faithful heart. she is such a blessing to me and all who are lucky enough to know her. i know she is going to get through this and all of us are going to be fighting right along with her. God is with our beloved and He is a God that saves; a God that heals.
Lord, i lift courteney's body up to you. i pray you will place your healing hand upon her. i pray you will send the Holy Spirit upon her heart and the hearts of this family. give us gracious, faithful and submissive hearts. give us strength and peace that we know can only come from You. we are wretched but so thankful for the grace that flows freely from you. thank you Father for your faithfulness, even when we are unfaithful. thank you for sending us your Son and giving us everlasting life through Him. it is in your Holy name i pray. amen.
peace and love.
it is with a heart and soul filled with so many mixed emotions that i write tonight. as many of you have heard already courteney, shane's sister, has a mass in her brain that will have to be removed. to say that this news has brought overwhelming despair upon the family would not explain the extent to which we are all hurting. we are all so precious to one another in this family and while i am so thankful for that, as one can imagine, when one suffers, we all suffer.
despite the pain i personally feel i am trying remain faithful to the Father. God has not gone to sleep, He has not taken a vacation, He has not turned His back on us. He is here, with courteney, with us. over and over in scripture we hear about God healing the sick, performing miracles and yet..."oh ye of little faith." as it says in the words of the song from above, there is nothing that the Lord can't save us from. nothing! not everything but bankruptcy, nothing! not everything but a broken marriage, nothing! not everything but cancer, nothing! nothing! there is nothing He can't save us from! He has overcome the world! His hand is on courteney and His perfect will is working in our lives.
so while i ache so deeply for courteney i will lift my eyes to our maker, to our healer who already knows what the prayers of my heart are. He already knows that how much i love her, how much we all love her, but the beautiful thing about Christ is that He loves her more than any of us ever could with a love that is unfathomable to sinful humans. courteney has so much strength, such a love for life, and a faithful heart. she is such a blessing to me and all who are lucky enough to know her. i know she is going to get through this and all of us are going to be fighting right along with her. God is with our beloved and He is a God that saves; a God that heals.
Lord, i lift courteney's body up to you. i pray you will place your healing hand upon her. i pray you will send the Holy Spirit upon her heart and the hearts of this family. give us gracious, faithful and submissive hearts. give us strength and peace that we know can only come from You. we are wretched but so thankful for the grace that flows freely from you. thank you Father for your faithfulness, even when we are unfaithful. thank you for sending us your Son and giving us everlasting life through Him. it is in your Holy name i pray. amen.
peace and love.
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