friendships.
lately i have been terribly burdened by a relationship in my life. for a while i have had someone in my life that i considered a good friend. i valued this person's views on life, and God, and i really enjoyed spending time with this person and learning from them. i truly felt that we had developed a true friendship which is something so rare in this world. in the past few months this person has all but disappeared from my life. attempts at communication and attempts to get together are either not answered or brushed off. i've done some probing to see if there was something i had done to cause offense, but did not receive much of a response. i don't know if it is an out of sight out of mind kind of issue or if maybe, much to my dismay, what i thought was a good solid friendship was not perceived as such by this other party.
since this has occurred i have begun to wonder, as an adult, what is the purpose of our friendships and how far should we go to pursue friendships with those who do not reciprocate. as adults are our relationships with others like that old saying....some people are only in our lives for a certain period of time....or should we be expecting more from our friends and engaging more in our relationships with others? it seems to me, based upon how God made us and how He established the Church that He has the intention for us to be relational beings and to be in pursuit of others. i do have friendships in my life that have, so far, endured, giving evidence to the fact that we are truly made to be relational beings with lasting relationships.
however, at what point do you stop and say...enough. i've tried with this person, and they do not seem to want to share in a friendship with me any longer...for whatever the reason. it seems to me if we have not wronged this person, or at least it does not seem that we have wronged this person, then perhaps there does come a point where you let that person pass from your life and you move on to the next relationship. i think this is difficult for many of us to do, when we care deeply for them, have shared our lives with them, and especially when we are unsure of what caused the friendship to begin to fizzle out. for me, i also question whether it is biblical to simply stop pursuing the relationship. for now, all i know to do is be in prayer for this person and for myself, and to seek God's intentions.
i would love to hear any one's thoughts on this.
peace and love.
1 comment:
Holly,
I think that modern friendships are going to be imperfect. They require at least two imperfect sinners. But our view of friendships is a bit skewed in my opinion. The first century church would have been a small body of believers who lived their entire lives closely knit to each other. Eating, working, worshiping and living daily lives with each other. Now, the modern day church has technology and transportation to add or hinder a true biblical model of friendship. Most modern churches are a small cry from a body of friends who minister to each others needs and reach out into the community to help others. Most today are social clubs where you play your parts, Hey, how are you? Fine. But no one really wants to know how you are. They want their weekly "fill up" and they want to go eat chips-n-salsa. But since the fall of man, we have to reap the consequences of sin, and one of those is an imperfect church with problems large and small. So do we throw the baby out with the bath and stay home on sundays? Do we move to the Omish community so we can really get back to living simple? Or do we press on toward the goal-and not grow weary in doing good for in due time we will reap if we do not grow faint?
Let the Word of God be our guide, as for friendships...He is in control. God moves people in and out of our lives when we give over control to Him. He works as he sees fit for our growth and our own good and for his greatest glory. After all that is why we are here, to glorify Him. Even in friendships, especially in friendships.
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