it's been a long week so far...and it's only tuesday! clearly God is not through using this process to teach and mold us, as well as deepen our relationship with and reliance upon Him. we found out yesterday that the insurance company our birth mother was under will not cover her bills and that we will have to incur that expense. the trouble is, that we really do not have any extra money to spend. this issue, naturally, caused a great deal of distress on both our parts. truly...how do you put a price tag on a child? at the same time, there really isn't any more we can do financially.
and of course...in the midst of our failing faith...God shows up. not only is the director of our adoption agency trying to negotiate on our behalf, my amazing uncle and wonderful people from our church have begun to go to bat for us. isn't the nature and grace of God awesome? we were full of doubt, lacking in faith and He showed up anyway. He showed up ANYWAY. i'm just in awe of that. that i have a Savior that acts on my behalf; that pours out His grace and mercy on me in the midst of my sin and lack of faith for Him. and yet...why is it that when trouble comes again i will mostly likely show a lack of faith? why must i be like the hebrews whom God delivered from egypt and yet lacked faith and turned to their idols? why don't i believe and live my favorite verse from the Bible, psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." there is so much power in that verse that should always bring comfort. God is so in control and all things will be used to His glory. i am just thankful i have a Father that loves me in spite of my failing flesh and uses my sin to make something beautiful.
it is apparent to me that this adoption is not just about us becoming a family. God has and is using this journey to refine us. to deep our relationship and further us in our walk with God. i have grown spiritually more in the last few months than i ever have. i have been broken down to the point where God is the only strength, the only refuge i have. while it's a painful place to be in some ways, it is where true beauty and life changing grace is found. thank you God.
at this moment, Lord willing, we will be picking baby up on either monday or tuesday. please continue to pray for the birth mother, the baby, and that God will continue to work deeply in our lives.
peace and love
2 comments:
so true! adoption is such a perfect picture of God's grace but often times in the midst of it all it is hard to see :) Praying! Thanks for keeping us posted. Let us know if there is anything we can do.
nikki...you and heath have already done so much for us. you both have been such amazing examples to us. not just as adoptive parents, but also as loving christians. thank you for that. we love you guys!
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